See you on the other side

Ok last post before all the craziness happens.

The food is bought, family is coming, my dress is ready, everything's set. Now we just wait. I have T-minus four hours before I go through the temple and I have had every panic attack under the sun about that one. But thanks to good friends, family, and Felipe, I've made it through. We pick up my bouquet at three, Felipe's vest and tie, and the rest of the food tomorrow. We'll chop strawberries and thaw crepes tonight. We'll make the photo sign in book and meet the decorators. All my homework due Monday is now done and turned in. My bag is packed. My room is empty. I'm getting married!!!

Got it!

I now have a two year and a living ordinance recommend! And my stake president high fived me a total of three times throughout the interview. I had never met him before haha. But my recommend is sitting in my car, with our marriage license, and will not leave there until we get to the temple next week. We will not forget/lose it!

Two Things

Of course Felipe does things that drive me nuts, but here are two things that are just great:

1) Two weeks ago Felipe was sick with the cold/flu thing going around, and instead of me doing the normal girlfriend-here-let-me-serve-you deal HE surprised ME with flowers and...

2) he started going and playing soccer every Saturday night with some friends up in American Fork and last week he brought me home fries and lemonade and this week he brought me back my very own Jamba juice. Yay for thinking of me! Also, 10 DAYS until we are MARRIED! Yes, bizarre.

Going to the temple

First off, I apologize that what I've written lately has been so serious and cheezy and emotional, but what can I say, emotions are running high these days :)

Anyway, I set the appointment to go through the temple on March 30, the day before the wedding. I wanted to go earlier to have more time between that and the sealing but that's when the majority of family is coming and some of them wanted to be there. So the 30th it is. But I have been really anxious to go to the temple. Including a meltdown in the distribution center when Felipe and I went to look at the dresses and garments, and breaking down crying when I start talking about it. I'm high strung, I know. But what I want to write about here is what has helped me with the panic and anxiety and over-all feeling of weirdness.

First, I force myself to take a step back and fall on my testimony. Yes, the church is true. Yes, God is a living God. Yes, the restoration was inspired. If all this is true than what happens in the temple is sacred and true as well.

Second, the people I love and trust most in the world go to the temple and are strong in the church. My grandparents are currently temple president and matron, my mother goes, and Felipe is the most logical and reasonable person I know and he loves the temple.

Third, one night when I had been struggling with the anxiety of going, I started reading my scriptures and decided to read some of my favorite ones. Even though my knowledge of the temple has changed, the gospel has not. The scriptures are the same. God is the same. The Savior is my same friend. That hasn't changed at all.

And fourth, Felipe. I know this is corny. Skip it if you want. But he has really been my biggest advocate with this decision. He still comforts me with each breakdown. He constantly reassures me that this is good and right. He told me that the reason he wasn't afraid of going to the temple for the first time was because of his mother's example. He said he would watch her go each week and see her come back so happy and that made him excited to go for himself. I'd like to thank her for that. I am also grateful for his priesthood and worthiness. He gave me a blessing for comfort two nights ago and it was a very sweet experience. He tells me all the time that he's excited for me to go, he's excited to be there with me, and that he's excited for us to continue to go after we're married.

I'm still nervous. I'm still weirded out by a lot of things. I'm still apprehensive and I still need reminders, but I know it will be good.

The Beasties

We have a few stragglers, but we finally mailed out the bulk of our wedding invitations last week. YAY! I didn't think I'd be so happy to see them gone. We were up til about 3 every night for a week cutting and folding and taping and cutting and cutting some more. Felipe designed them and we bought all the paper and cut each one out separately with exacto knives and then I hated them. Most of them look good, and those are the ones Felipe did. A majority of the ones I put together looked like a kinder-gardener had made them, but they're done! And mailed! We chose 7 different pictures that we liked the most and put a different one in each invitation. The balloon one was Felipe favorite and if you got it, consider yourself lucky. It was a high honor in his eyes :) haha. But here they are (including the one at the top):

Also, we got our first "Mr. and Mrs. Felipe Portus" letter today! It was a card from my great aunt Gina with a check inside, congratulating us on our marriage. After her personal message inside, the salutation on the envelope was the most exciting part for me!! That's me! Mrs. Felipe Portus.

Recommend holders

Felipe and I were driving around Provo on Friday running errands and stopped at the distribution center to look at the temple clothing I'll need to buy. Felipe asked them where he could get a plastic cover for his temple recommend and they told us to go next door to Deseret Book. Felipe asked if I wanted to get matching ones and it's a small thing but all that it represents means a lot to me. We are going to the temple to be sealed and become a family, able to care for God's children. I am going through the temple and will take part in very important things that I don't understand. I'm apprehensive, but excited. So we spent some time choosing our covers and settled on a photo of the Salt Lake temple. When we got back to my house Felipe set it up to stand on the desk in my room. We will be married. It is still so hard to grasp. 24 days! But I love him for being sweet and tender and gentle and spiritual. There are times when I am so frustrated with him that I want to just smack him or swear at him (which I may or may not have done twice), but he is an amazing person and I'm so lucky to have him.

While we were at Deseret Book Felipe pointed out the willow statues/carvings of the mothers and fathers and children and told me that he likes them and showed me the one he got his sister for her wedding. We were looking at them and he grabbed the one of the pregnant mother and her husband holding her and said he would buy that for me when I'm pregnant. I told him he better remember that because I'll hold him to it. When you watch this competitive fiend play soccer you wouldn't believe he's the sweet tender man I'm going to marry. I know this post is cheesy but the little things he does for me means a lot.