Lazy

I feel so lazy, and I hate it! College seems like it was a complete waste of time. I've spent the last 18 years of my life in school--19 if you count preschool. Grad school has always been an idea but now I'm seriously considering it just to have something to do. We even checked out a GRE prep book from the library. Without school, my life just feels so aimless.

To add to this laziness, I was kicked out of my job last Friday. It was a campus job so I was only allowed to work there until two weeks after I graduated. This is only day two of unemployment but I feel a severe case of cabin fever coming my way. Felipe can't work yet because he hasn't gotten his paperwork back yet allowing him to work. At least we are bored and lazy together.

I've always hated lounging about. Even in high school, I hated the feeling of staying in my pajamas all day. So I now dutifully get up and shower and get ready for the day, but then have no where to go and nothing to do. And, my little baby nieces just moved to Chicago so I can't even play with them. But let's be positive. Here's a list of the things we have done to add some productivity to our lives:

1. Last weekend we took my two youngest brothers out for ice cream, visited, and then brought them home to watch a movie.

2. Mother's Day we had a big fun family dinner, candles included (insert Tim's panic here) and then watched a movie at my house with Katelyn and Ian

3. Last weekend we checked out a truck load of books from the library, almost five of which are now read.

4. We started our little seedlings and care for them each day (which doesn't take much time, but at least we can look forward to the day when they can go outside and be a garden and consume hour upon hour)

5. We haven't quite made it to the temple yet but at least we talk about it....

6. Errands left over from the wedding

7. Hours and hours of Ticket to Ride

8. Going on walks--last night we went on a great walk down the provo river trail, and stopped at a park to swing. I haven't done that in a while. I was also asked by somebody if I had a cigarette...

9. Watching our favorite baby boy (aka Sammy)

I hate feeling lazy. But I do love all this time I get to spend with my wonderful husband.

Mmmm Cookies!

I found a recipe for these peanut butter and Reeses cookies on my friend's blog and, wanting to do something domestic yesterday, made them. They are delicious! I had great fun making them because:

1. It made me feel more like a wife

2. They were easy

3. I learned new things

4. I got to use our new hand mixer and

5. They are absolutely delicious

If you want to try them out, here's the recipe:

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup peanut butter

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 teaspoon salt

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

1 1/4 cup flour

15 Reeses peanut butter cup miniatures

Makes about 30 cookies (26 for me)

Cream butter, peanut butter, and sugars together with an electric mixer. While mixing add the egg and vanilla. Combine dry ingredients in separate bowl (salt, baking soda, and flour). Add the dry mixture slowly to the other ingredients. Mix until you can not see any of the flour. Cut some Reeses in half (I used about 13 whole ones). Form the dough into 1 inch balls, placing one Reeses half into the middle. Cover the candy completely with the dough. Bake at 375 for 7-9 minutes.

When I was making these I realized that we did not have any vanilla. So I looked on-line as a last ditch effort to see if there were any household substitutions, and I found this great website! I felt so culinary. Also, it is really hard to get half a reeses into a 1 inch ball. So don't sweat it if you can't do it. I tried rolling it in like the recipe said and I also tried placing it on top like a shortbread cookie. I personally like it rolled into the ball of dough.

I was so excited to get to use our mixer. I use to have a thing about hand mixers, thinking they were for the faint of heart who couldn't muscle it with a spoon, but that foolishness has left me. I loved the mixer! It was great fun.

I hope you enjoy!

Ps be forewarned that the cookies spread out quite a bit. They're not runny, they just grow.

Easter!

Probably I do not have a great Easter picture but forgive me. We are just learning that we need to document occasions. Also, my camera is Mr. Sucky McSuck Suck so the pictures wouldn't be worth much anyway. It was great when I got it but is now the ripe ole' age of 7+ years. No bueno.

But Easter was great fun. I felt very mature with it. Constanza and Claude spent the night and we all went to church together in the morning (9 in the AM-boo). After church we visited a bit and Katelyn came over for a while. Eventually everybody left and I was able to get down to some cooking. I made a potato casserole I remembered my Mom making (which was really good), and some salad and chicken rolls too. Felipe and Katelyn and Ian helped a lot. Our table, unbeknown to us, extends to have a leaf in the middle so it was perfect size for our group. Probably one of my favorite parts was putting a large shiny Easter egg as everybody's place setting. It was truly festive! The seven of us (Constanza, Claude, Felipe, me, Katelyn, Ian, and Damon) had a great time laughing and teasing each other and joking about. After dinner Felipe even gave a short little Easter devotional for us all. Constanza and Claude left and the five of us played games and had a blast until Felipe kicked them out at 10 because I was really tired. All in all, entertaining great guests and family is a like. How mature!

Wedding

We did it! Most everyone who reads this was at the wedding and/or reception, so you know how it went. It was beautiful. And wonderful. And amazing. And just so so so happy! It's been over three weeks now since the actual day so I'll quote from my journal so I can remember it better.

I only got 2 or 3 hours of sleep the night before and by the end of the reception was very exhausted. But I was on a high all day. I went to my grandparent's house at 5 that morning for my aunt Violet to do my hair. My cousin Granger, 16, was staying there with his parents and couldn't sleep so he decided to join us in the kitchen and listen to his music. Violet threw a few bobby pins at him every once in a while to get him to get his attention when his music was too loud or when he was whistling or tapping his feet. Who listens to rap at 5 am? Haha. Violet did a fantastic job with my hair.

At 7:15 I picked up Felipe from his apartment and the two of us drove to Manti. The weather was Beautiful! We were so lucky. We were both starving and got a quick bite at McDonald's right before arriving at the temple at 9.

The temple was beautiful. So inviting. One of my favorite things is how loving and kind and sincere all the workers are. They are so helpful. They took me up to the bride's room and and I changed into all my temple clothes with the help of 2 sisters and Felipe's mom. There are still a few things I can't get quite exactly right.

After properly dressed they took Felipe and I to the celestial room to wait for Grandpa to be ready.

I had a few questions from the night before and Felipe felt comfortable discussing things with me there in the celestial room. I had a hard time learning how to distinguish what was appropriate to talk about where and wasn't frustrated really, but was excited to finally be able to talk about everything. I loved that time just sitting there and talking and being so excited and a little bit nervous.

Grandpa came and we (me and Felipe) were taken to sealing room 2. It was beautiful. After a few minutes of talking our friends and family were escorted in. There was such a wonderful spirit. Felipe and I sat together on a little couch, flanked by our mothers, while Grandpa spoke a little to us and the group. I was emotional and holding back tears. When instructed, Felipe took me to the alter and the ordinance was performed. Looking into his eyes during the ordinance was one of my favorite parts of the whole day.

We were afterwards taken to our respected places to change and Mom helped me change into my wedding dress. My next favorite part of the day was going downstairs in the temple to where Felipe was waiting and seeing his face when he saw me for the first time. He told me how very gorgeous I was and the love and awe in his eyes was so touching. I gave him his wedding band and seeing it on his finger makes me so happy.

We were about to leave the temple by the revolving door when all three workers rushed to stop us, knowing the dress would get stuck. We laughed and just weren't thinking. I couldn't stop smiling. I loved being outside with friends and family. I teared up when Katelyn hugged me. Very many pictures were taken for the next hour or so.

Everybody left while we finished pictures and then I changed out of my dress. Felipe met me inside and we were shown the famed spiral staircases, self-supportive.

On our way back we just could not believe we were married. My cheeks had been hurting from smiling so much.

I dozed on the drive back and we were both so exhausted. At 4:45 we went to set up the church. The decorator had done a fantastic job but had forgotten the chinese lanterns, the thing I wanted most. I was very sad about that.

So many people helped at the reception, especially Damon, Morgan, Claude, Katelyn, and Constanza. Katelyn was kind and brought us drinks and food. She and Tavi gave wonderful toasts. Katelyn caught the bouquet and our first dance went on forever. We tried to leave around 8:15 without commotion, but people found out and while Felipe adn I were changing they formed two lines outside our car and blew bubbles.

Our car was a mess! It took an hour and two car washes to get it all off before we could actually leave for salt lake. We went to the house to try and fix teh wiper blad that broke across our windshield and also to pick up some board games we wanted for the weekend. No one was there but Chris and Amy and Warren and Dorothea arrived when we were about to leave and after we left Felipe realized he had left his wedding ring which he took off to wash the wiper blade so we went back. By then most everybody was there. I was embarrassed and stayed in the car. And then the weekend! Which was great.

See you on the other side

Ok last post before all the craziness happens.

The food is bought, family is coming, my dress is ready, everything's set. Now we just wait. I have T-minus four hours before I go through the temple and I have had every panic attack under the sun about that one. But thanks to good friends, family, and Felipe, I've made it through. We pick up my bouquet at three, Felipe's vest and tie, and the rest of the food tomorrow. We'll chop strawberries and thaw crepes tonight. We'll make the photo sign in book and meet the decorators. All my homework due Monday is now done and turned in. My bag is packed. My room is empty. I'm getting married!!!

Got it!

I now have a two year and a living ordinance recommend! And my stake president high fived me a total of three times throughout the interview. I had never met him before haha. But my recommend is sitting in my car, with our marriage license, and will not leave there until we get to the temple next week. We will not forget/lose it!

Two Things

Of course Felipe does things that drive me nuts, but here are two things that are just great:

1) Two weeks ago Felipe was sick with the cold/flu thing going around, and instead of me doing the normal girlfriend-here-let-me-serve-you deal HE surprised ME with flowers and...

2) he started going and playing soccer every Saturday night with some friends up in American Fork and last week he brought me home fries and lemonade and this week he brought me back my very own Jamba juice. Yay for thinking of me! Also, 10 DAYS until we are MARRIED! Yes, bizarre.

Going to the temple

First off, I apologize that what I've written lately has been so serious and cheezy and emotional, but what can I say, emotions are running high these days :)

Anyway, I set the appointment to go through the temple on March 30, the day before the wedding. I wanted to go earlier to have more time between that and the sealing but that's when the majority of family is coming and some of them wanted to be there. So the 30th it is. But I have been really anxious to go to the temple. Including a meltdown in the distribution center when Felipe and I went to look at the dresses and garments, and breaking down crying when I start talking about it. I'm high strung, I know. But what I want to write about here is what has helped me with the panic and anxiety and over-all feeling of weirdness.

First, I force myself to take a step back and fall on my testimony. Yes, the church is true. Yes, God is a living God. Yes, the restoration was inspired. If all this is true than what happens in the temple is sacred and true as well.

Second, the people I love and trust most in the world go to the temple and are strong in the church. My grandparents are currently temple president and matron, my mother goes, and Felipe is the most logical and reasonable person I know and he loves the temple.

Third, one night when I had been struggling with the anxiety of going, I started reading my scriptures and decided to read some of my favorite ones. Even though my knowledge of the temple has changed, the gospel has not. The scriptures are the same. God is the same. The Savior is my same friend. That hasn't changed at all.

And fourth, Felipe. I know this is corny. Skip it if you want. But he has really been my biggest advocate with this decision. He still comforts me with each breakdown. He constantly reassures me that this is good and right. He told me that the reason he wasn't afraid of going to the temple for the first time was because of his mother's example. He said he would watch her go each week and see her come back so happy and that made him excited to go for himself. I'd like to thank her for that. I am also grateful for his priesthood and worthiness. He gave me a blessing for comfort two nights ago and it was a very sweet experience. He tells me all the time that he's excited for me to go, he's excited to be there with me, and that he's excited for us to continue to go after we're married.

I'm still nervous. I'm still weirded out by a lot of things. I'm still apprehensive and I still need reminders, but I know it will be good.

The Beasties

We have a few stragglers, but we finally mailed out the bulk of our wedding invitations last week. YAY! I didn't think I'd be so happy to see them gone. We were up til about 3 every night for a week cutting and folding and taping and cutting and cutting some more. Felipe designed them and we bought all the paper and cut each one out separately with exacto knives and then I hated them. Most of them look good, and those are the ones Felipe did. A majority of the ones I put together looked like a kinder-gardener had made them, but they're done! And mailed! We chose 7 different pictures that we liked the most and put a different one in each invitation. The balloon one was Felipe favorite and if you got it, consider yourself lucky. It was a high honor in his eyes :) haha. But here they are (including the one at the top):

Also, we got our first "Mr. and Mrs. Felipe Portus" letter today! It was a card from my great aunt Gina with a check inside, congratulating us on our marriage. After her personal message inside, the salutation on the envelope was the most exciting part for me!! That's me! Mrs. Felipe Portus.

Recommend holders

Felipe and I were driving around Provo on Friday running errands and stopped at the distribution center to look at the temple clothing I'll need to buy. Felipe asked them where he could get a plastic cover for his temple recommend and they told us to go next door to Deseret Book. Felipe asked if I wanted to get matching ones and it's a small thing but all that it represents means a lot to me. We are going to the temple to be sealed and become a family, able to care for God's children. I am going through the temple and will take part in very important things that I don't understand. I'm apprehensive, but excited. So we spent some time choosing our covers and settled on a photo of the Salt Lake temple. When we got back to my house Felipe set it up to stand on the desk in my room. We will be married. It is still so hard to grasp. 24 days! But I love him for being sweet and tender and gentle and spiritual. There are times when I am so frustrated with him that I want to just smack him or swear at him (which I may or may not have done twice), but he is an amazing person and I'm so lucky to have him.

While we were at Deseret Book Felipe pointed out the willow statues/carvings of the mothers and fathers and children and told me that he likes them and showed me the one he got his sister for her wedding. We were looking at them and he grabbed the one of the pregnant mother and her husband holding her and said he would buy that for me when I'm pregnant. I told him he better remember that because I'll hold him to it. When you watch this competitive fiend play soccer you wouldn't believe he's the sweet tender man I'm going to marry. I know this post is cheesy but the little things he does for me means a lot.