2 Reasons Why I Love Felipe

First off, I just want to say that I started compiling music for the reception and I couldn't stop smiling. Every so often it hits me in a flash that this is real. We are getting married. I am getting married! I feel like this is some cosmic joke because I am just a child. No one in their right mind would let two children marry. But for the two reasons:

Last night Felipe checked a laptop out for me from campus so I wouldn't have to go home and get mine to do homework at his apartment. You can renew the laptops every three hours and even though I was watching the renewal page the link to renew wouldn't work for me and the laptop was overdue. Not even a big deal at all. It's $1 an hour for every hour, but it closes at 11 and my computer expired at 10 so I was only over $1 on Felipe's account. I was so upset because I had been trying to renew the computer but the site wasn't letting me and for whatever reason I just started crying. I felt so dumb! I don't know why I reacted so strongly, but I did. And I love Felipe because even though we both felt I was being dumb he just hugged me. He comforts me whenever I'm upset, whether it's a legitimate reason or not. He'll always hug me and just hold me until I feel better, wipe my tears, and talk to me to calm me down. He never tells me to just suck it up or stop being dumb. And I know it's a little thing, but I know I can cry in front of him and feel safe. And I love that about him.

And now for the second reason: Last Saturday I had a phone interview with Teach for America and I was semi nervous. Felipe and I were talking before-hand and I was saying how I was praying to get this job, but recognized that the Lord knows what is best and what is in store for us and maybe this is not the best thing for us right now. So I was reassuring myself that even if I didn't get the job, it doesn't mean that I bombed the interview. He agreed with the logic but said that I must have meant "bum". I didn't "bum" the interview. What? No the phrase is to "bomb" something, like to suck it. People say they bombed a test when they did really bad, but Felipe insisted that people are saying they "bummed" their test, like butt bum. That's why people say "bummer", not "bomber". I love that all the time he's been here he thought people were saying that they bummed their test. I love Felipe for the reason that English is his third language and for all the funny things he says sometimes!

Reception

So the Provo library has rooms to rent for whatever you want. I love the building and think having a reception there is a great idea. Felipe and I went there last night to check it out and unfortunately it might not work out. They have the big ballroom to rent, but it's $800 for all day. We looked at the little room, which is $90 for three hours. The price is great, the hours is great, they set up and take down the chairs and tables, there's ample parking, and you get to use the kitchen, but the room is SUPER small. We don't have a ton of people on our invite list, and granted not everyone will come and those who do won't all show up at the same time, but still. It's almost claustrophobic. So stay tuned. Maybe they'll let us rent the ballroom for just a couple hours and pay a smaller price. Fingers crossed.

Colors

Ok I'm going to address these one at a time. Felipe and I are going to sit down and plan out what we want done by when, setting due dates for ourselves, so we have an idea of what we need to do and aren't rushing last minute to get everything done. First off, colors. Felipe initially fought for black and neon pink, which, I'll admit, is kind of cool, but I wouldn't let that happen. Some time in September or maybe early October I was thinking of what good "March" colors would be and decided I really liked orange. At first I thought orange and blue, but then changed it to orange and cream, with blue accents. And, Felipe didn't take much convincing, which means it was a good choice haha. I tried to find pictures online to show which shades I like, but the closest I could get was this bedspread... So just try to visualize it yourself :) And try to imagine little blue accents.

To-do List

Photographer

DJ

Flowers

Menu

Decorations/ambiance

Cake

Colors

Dress

Invitations/Thank yous

Register

Temple reservation

Endowment

Temple recommend interview

Buy garments/temple clothes

Luncheon location

Marriage License

Doctor stuff :(

Primping

Bridal Shower(s)

Find a home

Honeymoon (Felipe)

Special thanks to Violet for compiling this list and to Katelyn for playing pufferfish the whole time

How I knew

Last Tuesday night Felipe and I were just sitting in the car, talking and catching up on each other's days. We started talking and somehow marriage came up (not so rare these days) and we started swapping stories of when we realized/decided we wanted to marry the other person. He had been praying about it off and on for a while now, but last August/September when he was praying about it he realized that getting married would be a good thing. It just made sense to him. It seemed like the best decision to be making. Felipe is very logical and analytical. When the Spirit speaks to him it appeals to logic and reason. I, however, am a bit more emotional... But I told him when I realized I could marry him, which I hadn't told him before. Not because it was a big secret or anything, it was just so long ago and never really came up.

But last year I was seriously considering doing an internship with the department of defense. I would have been sent to a military base in Europe, travel and housing paid for, and given a monthly stipend. I learned about this program even before we started dating and had been in the process of applying when we met. After we started dating the idea went on the back burner for a while, but eventually I remembered it and became interested again. I wasn't sure if things were going anywhere with Felipe so I started seriously considering the program. I applied and started praying about the decision. Eventually I had an interview with them and was called back for a second and was starting to get a little stressed out with deciding if I should leave on this program the next semester or stay with Felipe and see what happened. If I wasn't dating him I would have most likely gone.

November 6, 2009 (I remember the date because it was the night of his friend, Tavi's, birthday party and I was super nervous to go play soccer with everybody) I knelt down to pray about going on this internship, seeing if it was the right thing for me to pursue just then, and as soon as I started praying my mind went completely blank. I couldn't remember my reason for kneeling down at all and started feeling silly, just kneeling there with nothing to say to God. After a minute or two I still couldn't think what I had wanted to say, but then Felipe came into my mind, and I started thinking if I could marry him. I know this sounds really cheesy, but it's what happened. I decided to start praying about him, and it just felt right. I could see myself marrying him and it felt like a great idea. I couldn't remember my original reason for praying until after I had ended my prayer. It reminded me of the scripture where we're told if it's not right He will cause a stupor of thought. Anyways, that was exactly a year ago and it took months and months of getting Felipe on board with the idea, but I wouldn't marry him if I wasn't certain he had received his own form of confirmation too.

Barbie

So I had a dream a couple nights ago that I was going around looking for wedding dresses. I FINALLY found two that I liked and wanted to try them on, but they were on Barbies and there was no way I could try those suckers on. I woke up unsuccessful, with no wedding dresses. I wonder what that dream could possibly mean...boo.

Flexibility

I had an email from my Grandma yesterday. She and my grandpa are serving as temple president/matron in Brazil at the Recife temple, and she wrote that if we could postpone our date for a few days or a couple weeks, then they both could come up for the wedding and my grandpa could be the sealer. I would love for that, and I had been looking forward to that possibility ever since I learned of their new calling. This is the reason we chose a date around conference because that's when their temple closes for maintenance and they're allowed to travel. But then I was told that if anyone did come up in April it would only be grandma, if at all, due to finances. So Felipe and I went ahead and decided on March 31. It shouldn't be any question at all for us to change our date for the opportunity of my grandpa being the sealer, but I just am so sad about losing March 31. Irrationally sad. Felipe and I both got attached to the date and love the way it sounds. I know I'm being dumb but this is a hard decision for me. When talking with Felipe he said that he loves March 31 but knows how important it would be for me to have my grandparents there and left the decision completely up to me. So I don't know.

Some problems with later in April:

1. I hate the idea of getting married in April. Everyone in Provo either gets married in April or December, and I don't want to be just another BYU wedding. Petty reason, I know, but the idea of an April wedding just grosses me out (don't be offended if you like it aka Katelyn and Sarah)

2. We're trying to accommodate some of Felipe's family members who would have to travel here from Chile. It's hard to gather people from different continents and coordinate schedules.

3. If we postpone we will be getting married right before or during finals. At least with March 31 we had a couple weeks (2) of classes left before finals week.

4. The longer we wait to get married, the longer we have to wait for Felipe's greencard, meaning the longer he's not able to work after graduation. If we get married March 31 he has three or four weeks where he can still work for BYU before he graduates and his student visa is illegitimate.

Benefits of later in April:

1. My grandparents can come to the wedding of their first grandchild

2. My grandpa can seal us

3. School will be done or almost done so we won't have that stress right when we're married (just in the final weeks when preparing for marriage)

4. If one of us gets a job for right after graduation, we can get married and leave. If we're married March 31 we'd have three weeks where we'd be essentially homeless.

Bottom line, I still don't know. I emailed my grandma and asked for the dates of when the temple will be closed and they can come up, so maybe that'll help.

This is it

As many of you know, Felipe and I have set our wedding date for March 31. Yay! Some people don't know yet (aka Felipe's family and some members of my own), so if you do happen to read my blog and didn't already know we were getting married, please don't tell anyone else (but hurrah for you and knowing this oh-so-well kept secret!).

I wanted to start a journal for during my engagement, but then thought this would be more fun since it'll be easier to post pictures, and cake ideas, and flowers, and colors, etc, and especially to get feedback. I have not been planning my wedding since I was five, I have no idea what kind of dress I like, Felipe has more ideas about a reception than I do, and Morgan and Katelyn are both more excited to plan my wedding than I am. I'm thrilled to be finally married, I'm just not into all of that "girl" stuff. So I would gladly welcome feedback :)

Felipe and I have been dating for a little over 15 months, which is borderline crazy here in P-town. But as much as I have griped and moaned about how long it's taken, I'm glad we dated for as long as we did and I'm glad for the relationship we have now and everything I know about him.